Engaged: How It Happened and Lessons Learned

So for anyone who lives under a rock or simply doesn’t read Facebook/Twitter I got engaged last night!  It was months in the planning and Heather was none the wiser throughout the experience.  It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog post, but it feels like it’s time and this seems like a good story to tell.  Also me being the teacher that I am it feels like I might be able to give some guys some advice about how to do this important moment in their lives the right way.  Well, all this is simply my opinion and sometimes I’m full of it, but it might make an interesting enough story.

Picking The Right Ring

I am very much a traditionalist who likes to keep things simple.  When I first went looking at wedding rings, completely unbeknown to Heather, over Thanksgiving break I discovered there is a large range of different types of rings you can purchase.  Guys, when purchasing a ring, the one thing you need to remember is to put all the money in the stone.  With women if you were to ever choose the wrong ring you are better off spending all the money on the stone and she can always pick another band, and even if you did she would never tell you if she loved you.  From a financial standpoint a diamond is going to hold more value than some fancy ring that might be out of style in a decade. Hopefully you are planning on staying together longer than a decade anyway.  So with all that said the perfect ring for any woman will always be a single round cut diamond.  There is no doubt that a round cut is an engagement ring and you never have to worry about that changing.

Where you find a ring like this is also something that should be discussed.  For any man hopefully the engagement ring is the most important ring he ever buys.  This means that it probably shouldn’t be bought at a jewelry store in the mall.  Do some homework and find a good store with people you trust.  For me that meant going to Hales Jewelers in Greenville, SC and talking to Lucian.

How To Not Ruin The Moment And Keep It A Surprise

Being a traditionalist means that I also have to get her father’s blessing.  While back in SC over Christmas break I picked up the ring and also scheduled a lunch with Heather’s dad Robert.  Hopefully he was excited, although I can imagine protective with Heather being his baby girl.  It’s ok, Robert, because she’s my “baby doll” too.  So we had a nice BBQ lunch while I showed him the ring and asked for permission.  I also told him that Heather had NO clue and that I wanted to surprise her.

A lot of friends that I’ve talked to couldn’t believe that I sat on an engagement ring for almost three months without a peep to Heather.  The trick to this is you kind of just have to forget that you even have it.  I’ve never had a problem staying busy so maybe that part was a little easier for me.  I wasn’t exactly sure when I was going to pop the question, but I was pretty sure Valentine’s Day seemed like the perfect event because it was close enough while also a special enough event that Heather wouldn’t get real suspicious if I tried to plan something that day.  So with that said, about a month ahead I planned dinner at a very nice place in Cambridge, Craigie on Main, and I was back to the waiting game.

Valentine’s Day Date

Last weekend was a ton of fun.  I spent a long weekend down in Nashville for my good college buddy Charles’ bachelor party.  This actually turned out to be perfect timing because I could tell my buddies the plan.  It also helped that last weekend get by without me giving away any secrets.  I was able to tell a lot of my friends at work that day that I was going to do it that night.  So the hard part is holding it a secret until right when you’re ready so you don’t have to worry about anyone ruining the surprise.

Dinner turned out to be more perfect than I could have expected.  It was a seven course Valentine’s Day special and for a “little” extra you could get a wine pairing with each course.  Needless to say the food was absolutely amazing although it goes in the record book for being the most expensive meal I’ve ever purchased… WAY over anything else.  That’s ok on your engagement night. That shouldn’t stop you.  Also, when we walked into the restaurant they offered to check our coats.  This was a little bit of a dilemma for me because the ring was in my coat pocket and too big to fit in my pants pocket.  Try handing over a jacket with a $$$$$ ring in it and not freaking out… veins of steel are required.  It is much easier when the ring is already insured before you even take it out of the store.

I think it actually worked out best that I waited until we got back to the apartment that night to pop the big question and this is the final piece of advice I’ll give.  If your woman is on Facebook like Heather then you can expect her to start taking pictures and spend the next HOUR plus on Facebook spreading the word like wildfire.  Just be prepared and know that you might be better off doing this in private because I know it would have sure been awkward to be at dinner or out in public and Heather pounding away on her phone.

So now the next stage of planning begins.  I bought heatherandkyle.com today, because that’s just something I would do, and now it’s time to start planning the next major milestone.  I love you Heather.  It’s time for the real adventure to begin, but all that planning can start another day.